Monday, September 17, 2007

Just for Laugh 笑一笑

Why do Indians talk non stop? 
Guess.... Still dunno? OK lah.....
 
Answer : Becoz they left their full stop on their forehead.

There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
The Female pencil got pregnant !!
 
Which Male pencil is responsible? 

THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me. 

Doctor: your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you. 

God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi.
He saw me in dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU. 

What are the three fastest ways of communication?
Three fastest means of communication in the world.
Tele-phone
Tele-vision
Tell-a-woman.
You still want faster?

Tell her not to tell anyone :-) 

THE ONE

I have one
You have one
Your mother uses your father's one
And your auntie uses your uncle's one


A married lady would acquire one
But a divorced lady would lose her one 

Arnold Schwarzenneger has a longer one 

Michael J. Fox has a shorter one 

Madonna doesn't have one

The Chinese usually have short ones 
While the Indian usually have long ones 

Do you have one? 

How long is your one?

Which one is your preferred one?

What you are thinking of?

go down......
.
.
.  

.

.

.
Answer : its your Surname, what else? !!!!! 

but I like the way you think ......... 

心理測驗-你是不是一個好老婆/好老公?

《摘錄自PCHOME-心理測驗部屋》
 

你是不是一個好老婆?

許多女人都認為自己結婚後一定會是個百分百的好老婆,可是男人可不見得也會給予相同評價!維納斯特地設計了以下測驗,請男生拿給另一半,或者女生自己測測看,了解一下你將來或現在成為好老婆的機率有多高!


測驗開始:將每一題得到的分數加起來,再對照測驗結果。


A
1 B2 C3

1
你的男性朋友是否很多?

A
不多,很少跟男生講話。
B
很多,常常有許多的異性朋友。
C
不多,不過通常都很熟。

2
遇見有人跟你搭訕,想跟你做朋友,你會:

A
做朋友無妨呀,反正也不可能給他佔到什麼便宜。
B
停下腳步,看看他到底想做什麼。
C
不理他,我有我自己的生活圈。

3
自己有傷心事,你是否喜歡跟姊妹淘們訴說?

A Of course
。朋友就是在這種時候才派上用場的。
B
除非很悶,否則不會主動提起。
C
完全不會。我不喜歡人家知道我的心事。

4
你最討厭男孩子有什麼壞習慣?

A
抽煙喝酒,一些不良的壞習慣。
B
喜歡跟女生哈啦,到處留情展現男子氣概。
C
脾氣暴躁,固執難溝通。

5
一定要你主動追男生,你會選擇的作法是:

A
到處出現在他面前,等他自動上鉤。
B
寫信,Email或即時通,只敢間接告白。
C
直接大方去跟他做朋友。

6
覺得自己是個什麼都不會的女生?

A
當然,女子無才便是德。
B
還沒那麼慘啦,破船總有三分釘。
C
我才不會那樣,我最痛恨大男人主義。

7
突然自己心儀的偶像就出現在你身邊不遠處,你會:

A
害羞躲起來,事後再後悔沒衝過去跟他聊天握手要簽名。
B
把握機會馬上過去!錯過這次再等五百年!
C
可能很開心,不過不會有太多動作,錯過也沒什麼好可惜的。

8
你平常是否喜歡閱讀一些愛情小說或是愛情專家寫的文章?

A
少來!每個人的際遇不同,他們寫的東西在我眼中是垃圾。
B
很迷。尤其自己常常遇到困擾,可以從中得到不少助益。
C
盡信書不如無書。我會看可是也不可能全盤接受!
診斷分析  
 
8~12分:好老婆機率 30%

不是說你不是好老婆,而是你愛自己更愛你老公。可能是認識的人少,又或者生活圈單純,所以你緊緊地繫著另一半,不願意他有太多無法預測的事情發生。我建議你可以多和姊妹淘聊聊心事交換心得。學會信任與包容,愛情才會如你想像般地甜美持久。

13~16
分:好老婆機率 50%

其實你真的很愛你的老公。只是有時候,包括你自己也討厭的壞脾氣,使得你常常口是心非,甚至做出一些自己都很莫名其妙的事,損人又不利己,也間接傷害彼此感情。下次發作前就試著退一步吧。別太堅持無謂的正義,吃點虧也許你會發現真愛就在眼前。

17~20
分:好老婆機率 70%

撇開吃醋不說,你可以說是個最完美的好老婆。因為愛他,所以你可以無限制地包容他,唯獨不能允許他逾矩,就連稍微聊個天都不允許。雖然你也會默默忍受,可是累積的能量爆發也是會很嚇人的。有問題就溝通,找出彼此可以接受的模式,愛情也可以很簡單。

21~24
分:好老婆機率 80%

其實如果不是真的事實擺在眼前,否則你對老公的好,可以說是讓他如沐春風,甚至常常拿來和人吹噓炫耀。只是有時太放縱也可能讓他太墮落,請他自己定個生活公約,可以輕鬆且達成的。不管他的行蹤雖然是展現大方與對他的信任,可是你還是可以用愛來綁住他的心。 
 

你是不是一個好老公?
許多男人都認為自己結婚後一定會是個百分百的好老公,可是女人可不見得也會給予相同評價!維納斯特地設計了以下測驗,請女生拿給另一半,或者男生自己測測看,了解一下你將來或現在成為好老公的機率有多高。
測驗開始:將每一題得到的分數加起來,再對照測驗結果。

A
1分 B2分 C3

1
你的女性朋友是否很多?

A
不多,很少跟女生講話。
B
很多,常常有許多的異性朋友。
C
不多,不過通常都很熟。

2
上大號時,你習慣是:

A
速戰速決,馬桶沒什麼好坐的。
B
放鬆心情,享受解放時的快感。
C
慢條斯理,順便看本書。

3
到大賣場購物,結果卻碰到下雨天,你會:

A
算了,又不是非得今天買不可。
B
如果雨不大,還是會過去看看。
C
不管!還是按照定計畫殺過去。

4
颱風來襲,看到新聞報導許多災民又無家可歸,你的心情是:

A
氣急敗壞,大罵政府無能,不如民間單位。
B
事出必有因,災民也應該重新思考與自然的關係。
C
特別關心溫馨感人的新聞,並且會設法提供協助。

5
你曾不曾主動追女孩子?

A
我蠻被動的,希望女生可以主動。
B
有啊,簡直是家常便飯。
C
相處有感覺了,才會慢慢交往。

6
會花很多時間在感興趣的事物上?

A
當然,不僅廢寢忘食,花再多錢投入也心甘情願。
B
曾經在某一段時間特別沈迷投入,但後來脫離了。
C
時間調配得很好,不會讓興趣破壞正常的生活。

7
麥可喬丹的住所到距離你家只有30分鐘車程,你會:

A
天天當狗仔,守在他家樓下。
B
對他一點興趣都沒有,住我家附近又怎樣!
C
閒著沒事時可能會去串門子,敦親睦鄰一下。

8
你最想當哪種人?

A
當紅節目的主持人。
B
高收入的醫生律師。
C
位居要津的公司主管。
診斷分析  
 
8~12分:好老公機率 30%

你強迫另一半接受自己的價值觀,愛情按照你寫好的劇本在走,當對方提出要求時,你總是不放在心上,認為對方又在無理取鬧!其實女孩子要的,不見得是你做了多少,而是你有沒有真的重視、在意她。想當好男人、好老公之前,就得先學會傾聽。

13~16
分:好老公機率
50%

你的脾氣古怪暴躁,情緒失控時,除了言語暴力之外,你也可能施以暴力、動手動腳。雖然事後也會懊悔,但傷害造成後,卻難以彌補。懂得控制脾氣,也盡量不要鑽牛角尖。女孩要的是穩定,而不是像地雷般隨時可能引爆的老公。

17~20
分:好老公機率
70%

你對女孩子很好,總是盡量溫柔體貼。只是另一半卻往往得寸進尺,冀求你付出更多的愛,因而開始無理取鬧,讓你頗難忍受,讓婚姻或感情進而產生危機。為了雙方好,你不能忍受的事就別悶心底,免得埋下日後爭吵的導火線,自己又成了爛好人。

21~24
分:好老公機率
80%

你對女人的要求簡直到了有求必應的地步。你寧願自己穿地攤貨,也要另一半名牌加身;寧願自己挨餓受凍,也要另一半過著少奶奶般的貴族生活。在女孩的心中,你當然是個好老公,但你忽略兩人相處,貴在心靈交流而非物質享受。

Saturday, September 15, 2007

I e-meow U, U e-meow me !

Dear Ah Lian

Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look? Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.

You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he take we all go to kalah ok.
Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.

Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari. My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people.  So you must come with your hole family.

I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me. Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon. And when you got time, please few free to call me.  Goo bye.....

Worm regard,
Ah Beng

Friday, September 14, 2007

有点粗,有点俗的笑话 (别见怪!)

有点粗,有点俗的笑话

有一天, 小牛從小雞的家鄉哭著跑回來, 牛媽媽吃驚的問小牛為甚麼哭?

小牛哭訴說他被雞媽媽還有全村的雞追著打!!

牛媽媽問為甚麼會被打?

小牛說: " 只是向他們道別而已, 那裡知道雞媽媽還有全村的雞就很生氣追著打!! "

牛媽媽又問小牛: " 怎麼道別? "

小牛說 :" 只向他們說~ 小雞Bye, 老雞Bye, 全村雞Bye, 雞Bye, 全部雞Bye!! "


Thursday, September 13, 2007

Oh! Earthquake ....

In fact, this morning (13/09/2007) about 7:50 a.m. when I was busying with my preparation to work, my Husband (as he was still lying on bed) suddenly told me that he could feel that the bed was "shaking".... as I really could see his head was slightly shaking as well ! However, I was thinking that he might be just "shaking" himself ! (haha!) 

He suddenly spelt out "it's EARTHQUAKE" !!  Earthquake 

Oh my god, please don't kidding ... and don't try to frightened me, Ok ! 

(At that point of time I really feel a bit nervous!!)  Scared 1  

In fact, we really don't realised that there was an earthquake happened last night at Indonesia. After listen to the 8:00 a.m. news at Radio .... and "certified" that there really an earthquake happened last night and this morning as well.

I am staying in an apartment and now I'm worrying about that is our bulding structure in Malaysia can "expose" to a "low magnitude" of earthquake in case that really happend in our Country ? This is one of my BIG question where I really couldn't find the answer !!  Tell Me 


Thursday, September 6, 2007

醉了! Are U Ok!!

噢!! 醉了....

虽然醉得不是变成三头六臂,

但却醉成..."四眼一鼻...兼两嘴"!!

 

Hello, are U Ok? 

Is it all right with you...? 

4 eyes, 2 mouth, still pretty.... !

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Monday, September 3, 2007

TENSION



  The Moment you are in TENSION

You will lose your ATTENTION

Then you are in total CONFUSION  

And you will feel IRRITATION

Then you will spoil personal RELATION

Ultimately, you won't get CO-OPERATION

Then you will make things COMPLICATION

Then your blood pressure may arise CAUTION

And you may have to take MEDICATION

Instead, understand the SITUATION

And try to think about the SOLUTION

Many problems will be solved by DISCUSSION

This will work out better in you PROFESSION

Don't think it's my free SUGGESTION

It's only for your PREVENTION

If you understand my INTENTION  

You will never come again to TENSION